Frustration

My reaction as we ended our phone conversation tonight was borne out of frustration. Frustration stemming from how little control I feel I have over when we talk on the phone. It all started with your move to second shift.

I hated this idea from the get go. I didn't say anything because I want you to be free to do what is best for you and if working second shift helps you to complete your education then who am I to stand in your way? Even though the late night phone conversations cause me to be tired all of the time, I suck it up and deal because I love you and want to spend whatever time I can with you.

My only solace is our Saturday morning phone dates. It is the only time during the week when both of us are completely coherent. The increased alertness makes for much more engaging conversations which allow us to connect on a deeper level. Not surprisingly, Saturday is my favorite day of the week.

Tonight, you brought it to my attention that your changing off days would have an impact on our Saturday phone dates. That didn't go over so well with me. Once again, I felt that I was being asked to make a change that I wasn't completely on board with and I didn't like it. The pressure created from holding my feelings in for months escaped tonight in the form of frustration.

But that's life, right? I can't always have things my way. It's not always about me and what I want. There's two of us in this relationship. Two people who each have their own set of needs, goals and desires. Each of these things must be considered. Occasionally, compromises must be made to ensure that both of us are happy.

In my head, I know this is the proper mindset and I plan to actively pursue it. I just wish I could find a way to not feel so frustrated.