All the Ways I Am Feeling Off Today

• First off is our canceled phone date last night. What bothered me the most is that I was even bothered at all. I understand that the world shouldn't revolve around me, but that doesn't seem to keep me from feeling disappointed when it doesn't. I wish I were more mature in this area.

• I woke up this morning not feeling very motivated to exercise or eat healthy. I did neither today.

• The phones started ringing off the hook almost from the moment I stepped foot in the office this morning. I was noticeably bitchy to all who dared to call me.

• I have never violated God's "Thou shalt not murder" commandment, but I make a habit out of killing my fellow man with my words. Everyday. Despite starting the day by making a vow not to do so. Not exactly a Christian virtue.

• Of course, there was the incident at lunch that I emailed you about. I decided that the best way to combat the unpredictability of success and happiness is with the concreteness of setting goals. I reaffirmed some modest career objectives that I want to achieve this year -- taking 2 more writing classes and continuing to submit my work for publication at a frequency of once a month.

• The book I ordered for the church book club came in today and I started reading it this evening. The book is a memoir of Reynolds Price, a Duke English professor who contracted spinal cancer and is now confined to a wheelchair. It's not a book that I would normally read because of the depressing subject matter, and because I struggle with thoughts of impending doom with regards to my future. Books like this just feed into those fears and insecurities.

• Last but not least, your job's uncanny ability to fuck up my Saturdays at the worst possible time.